Winter, Eugene. Missing Sunshine. Socorro Where Are You.

It Snowed last night in Eugene, Oregon. Eventful!

Here I go again, hesitating to report because I don't seem to have enough glowing wonderful hopeful things to report.
It is interesting though. Pain remains the primary impetus for choosing steps along my healing path. A friend was speaking recently of our human problem of pain relief seeking. I've worked with persons addicted to pain killers. I commented to my friend that as far as the temptation that pain killers might offer, I have little perspective because I have no experience in pain relief. Only pain. Its a true drag on my psychic and emotional energies and certainly physical energies. I'm looking into everything.
Last week I had a surgical procedure for pain relief--the celiac plexus block. I had misunderstood and expected immediate pain relief after the procedure--done under conscious sedation, with long needles that spread a nerve disolving solution at the site of the problem. Now, I've read that the procedure doesn't provide immediate relief and that the effectiveness and length of pain relief generally increases with repeated injections.
I called the pain specialist's office this morning and asked about scheduling a second procedure. I have to wait until a seven day recovery interview can be done and then on the basis of that schedule a repeat procedure if it is considered appropriate by the doctor.
Here is the link for information about the celiac plexus block.

Meanwhile. I've become interested in Medical Marijuana. Oregon has a Compassion Center that will help with doing all the necessary steps to register as a patient whose doctor has recommended smoking pot--cannabis--to relieve serious medical symptoms including severe pain, and the nausea that accompanies pain treatment and chemotherapy. My general practitioner, my doctor of nearly 30 years, has made that recommendation to me and I'm exploring it. I'm not interested in growing any "my own." I hope to find somone who will agree to be my "designated grow site". The site, my doctor, and myself, have to be registered and recorded on the registration card that I will receive as a registered user.

I've heard of problems in California with police and growers clashing. I've been told that these problems are not happening in Oregon and that when there has been a legal question it has been settled in favor of the registered medical marjuana user.

Besides these explorations, I have consulted a naturopathic doctor, ND, who specializes in 'oncology'--the medicine of treating cancer. She has me on an anti-cancer program. The recommended diet includes some fermented food--so far all I've managed is Miso; a powdered drink supplement called Nanogreens, and another containing Aribogalactins; my trusted systemic enzymes--Wobenzym; N-acetyl L carnitine to relieve th neuropathy in my hands and feet; Melatonin--in larger amount that would be used for sleep aid, because the substance itself may be an anticancer agent.

I'm also using a self hypnosis CD from the Ontario Hypnosis Center called "Healing the Body Through Mind and Spirit", and another CD by Belleruth Naparstek that uses imagery and affirmations. I haven't listened to the Nancy Hopps pain CD for a while. I will. I tend to switch from one favorite tape to another.

Some of my friends are managing to keep in touch, while others have been finding it difficult with the flu season upon us. I can't be exposed to anyone who might have an infectious sneeze or cough, so it limits us. And also I am in so much pain that I cannot get myself out of the house. I haven't even been for a walk. I am doing some exercises, though, remembered from when I had an injured knee. I do these on the living room floor and hope they are keeping me from increasing debility.

You may be able to tell that I am not feeling very hopeful. I think that if I were not in pain, and that if eating did not hurt me that I could have a more positive attitude.

Just yesterday I decided to let go of the idea of traveling to the Morgenthaler Christmas in Petaluma, California. It was a good decision. It's opening it up for me to get to have time with both Day and Arlo and their families here in Eugene. I'm delighted at that and looking forward to Arlo's and Marina's, and Rebekah's, cooking. If we can somehow include Wendy and Rock in the Holiday events it will be quite perfect. I know both of them will be engaged with their own families--kids and spouses. Anyway, I'm glad I decided to stay home.

Lets all ring down the holiday with wishes for me to be free of pain, and able to enjoy my wonderful family.

The KIVA

Remember back in the 70's when the Kiva was a big warehouse down on 11th, next to a dance hall, and other good stuff. The whole foods grocery if I visualize it right was in the back right hand corner. There were books, and wines, and things--kitchen things, homesteader things, bulk foods. There was an earth shoe shop in a little loft near the front door accessed by a ladder and not tall enough to stand upright in. Remember? And down along one side there were booths and tables and folks hung out there. We ran into friends. I was living down by Cottage Grove then, and would come in with my partner Wayne, and friends from our little "back to the land" farm we called Tanager. I was the only person in our friend group to have a baby one of those years--Day, born in 1974-- in our little home made house on Blue Mountain School Road made from the recycled boards of the old Cottage Grove Hardware Store. There was a bunch of us living there then, maybe a dozen. It was eventful and full of love, work, gardening, goats, and other forms of angst. When Day was born, being the baby of a big household he was a pretty popular item. Everyone wanted to hold him, a phrase was born--"Let me hold 'im", which came out "...hold eem" and then became a nick name for a while. I remember being in the Kiva one day after Day started toddling and he was loose running around. Across the room I heard a happy shout. "It's Eem! It's the Eem beam!" Our friend Michael Forster, Magic Michael had spotted his little darling.

One day not long ago, I saw a young mom with a little kid, blond hair long enough to blow in the wind, wearing a little jean jacket with the sleeves rolled up to let out his baby hands. They were stopped on a street corner she bent over him. I felt liked I'd looked in a mirror to the past. It made me cry for those old days of hope and friendship, before the fall. When a new baby was the hope of the world, our world, the one we were envisioning and building.

I guess what was lost, for a while, is how ongoing that task is. How it doesn't just happen by our hard work and then we get to live in it. It happens, and unhappens, and morphs, and changes, and succeeds, and fails, and births new fears,and new dreams. Some of us are still here, or here again, or left the planet for a while and will maybe be back.

Today, I called the Kiva with a special request, and guess what! Its still here, its still real, its still the heart of the downtown community, and the Kiva came through--the people came through. Because that's always all that can come through. The people. The love.

My friend Sherril Bower who is a clerk there shopped for my groceries for me--cuz I'm house bound--and my son Arlo, born a couple of years after "Eem", stopped by the store which is just blocks from his workplace, to bring me my groceries.

May the circle be unbroken. I'm just spilling over with good feeling right now.

Love to you all.

Help While I Heal

That's my beautiful granddaughter Deija and her sign over my head. And that shiny object is my head after chemotherapy. I've been granted a reprieve from further chemo for the nonce, and I'm using it to see what happens when I use only the non-toxic therapies that are considered "alternative" by mainstream medicine.

Contributions to my becoming absolutely completely 100% cancer free can be made by writing a check to the Kate Waterbury Wellness Fund c/o Selco Community Credit Union, P.O. Box 7487, Eugene, Oregon, 97401.

As soon after my first chemotherapy as I had recovered sufficiently to go anywhere I got myself to the nutritional counselor recommended by my sweet wonderful Eugene friends. Besides the enzyme therapy I sought, my NTP has been treating me with bioactive frequencies that help my body detox. I learned that the chemicals in the chemotherapy IV are only actively doing what they do for x number of hours. After that, my body is sick and detoxing from the therapy.

Its important to note that I learned this characteristic of my treatment from my medical doctor. My doctor is very helpful, and responsive to my questions and concerns. The key, in terms of patient advocacy, is knowing what questions to ask!

So I am cooperating with the toxic therapy, which produced dramatic results the first time, noticeable results the second time, and less noticeable the third time. I let it do its thing, even helping it along with positive attitude, and healing imagery. I have tapes and dvd's. Good stuff. My friends have been wonderful.

Besides tapes, books, dvd's and ideas, my Eugene "team" has been here for me every treatment, bringing me soup, organic vegetables to juice, and other wonderful home cooked foods. They've brought friendship, hand-holding, distraction from my feeling punk, an arm to lean on when I was weak. They've sprung me from my room when I began to vegetate in my low energy miasma, and taken me places--out to eat, the movies, shows, "coffee"--more likely a juice bar.

The therapies that I began using while still receiving mainstream treatment include:
Proteolytic Enzymes
BioActive Frequency Treatments
Good Nutrition, Anti-Cancer Diet
Anti-Cancer Nutritional Supplements
Acupuncture
Digestive Enzymes
Guided Imagery
Meditation, Relaxation
Fun
Gentle Exercise
[And I'm planning to up that last one to Dance!]

What you know, if you've faced any health challenges at all, is that insurance will cover the mainstream therapies, pharmaceuticals if you're lucky, and several things that your medical doctor might recommend.

My healing activities, therapists, and supplements, are not covered by my insurance--and my income is very low. My life depends on doing everything I know how to do to continue my healing and to live cancer free. Much I can do on my own with little expense. A few important mainstays like my enzyme therapy and nutritional supplements, and the professionals who are guiding me in using these, are not without considerable cost. During the first month of my treatment I spent several hundred dollars on supportive therapy and I will continue to spend more than I can afford for a long time.

A friend of mine, taking a more pragmatic approach than I could to my situation, has strongly encouraged me to ask for help. Asking for help was one of the very first lessons--it was new and a challenge, but asking my friends and family for help and receiving their loving help and support has been beautiful. Asking for financial help is taking it to an uncomfortable level for me, but here I am, with my hat in my hand...upturned to receive your dollar gifts.

Kate Waterbury Wellness Fund
Selco Community Credit Union
P.O. Box 7487
Eugene, OR 97401

Please write your check payable to the Kate Waterbury Wellness Fund. The lovely people at Selco will know what to do with it. Thank you. I gratefully accept any little thing you can send. If you know of grander donors looking for someone to help, hey, give them that simple little address above, or tell me how to contact them. Thank you, thank you, thank you.